Tales of not so daily madness

A blog about my fantasy alter-ego Cirius Illiandri including some tales of daily madness from everyday life .I'd like to point out that all races and most of the stuff in this blog is based on concepts and ideas of Games Workshop plc (avoided the law suit now). The title of the book is quite uncertain but i'm working on it if it says anything :)

Name:
Location: Voula/Durham

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Inquisitor and The Cherubim (working title)

Here is a small update.The book has changed name from The Exterminatus to The Inquisitor and The Cherubim .The Cherubim are a group of elite soldiers/psykers of the Commonwealth, which is the name of the fledging human empire before the Age of Strife. They are two main characters to the book.The first one is the newly appointed Inquisitor of the ordos Hereticus Cirius Illiandri while the second one is Azrael, a cherubim which was in a stasis box for 20000 years as punishment for an act he commited, until Cirius found the box.After some procedures which i will avoid to mention (no need to spoil everything :P) Azrael becomes part of Cirius party.The rest will follow soon.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The 10 commandments of blogging in Greece,China and soon to a neighbourhood near you.

As i was having my shower, lighting struck and terirem(some kind of greek singing,not sure but like the word) started to play and before my very eyes words started forming on the soap.I took this as some sort of hallucination caused by the hot water and not as some divine sign, but nevertheless, here before you i bring the 10 commandments of blogging in Greece,China and soon to a neighbourhood near you.+bless+

1)Thu shall not write about anyone famous in your blog or thu shall go to prison

2)Thu shall not write about any politician in your blog or thu shall go to prison

3)Thu shall not have links on your site or thu shall go to prison

4)Thu shall refrain from satirizing anyone(and i mean anyone,not even your crazy uncle) on your blog or thu shall go to prison

5)Thu shall eat all your vegetables or thu you shall go to prison

6)Thu shall remain silent or though shall go to prison

7)Need you speak thu shall agree with everyone or thu shall go to prison

8)Thu shall refrain from thinking logically or thu shall go to prison

9)Thu shall better not leave any flipping details on your blog or thu shall go to prison

10)Thu shall better avoid from doing anything because sooner or later thu shall go to prison.

I hope these help you in writting your, surely to be magnificient, blog.Don't think hard and you shall be ok.+bless+

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Going towards the middle ages

Several days ago as i was reading a greek newspaper online there was a topic which caught my attention.A blogger had been arrested in Greece because a link in his site lead to a satirical blog.Apparently some famous person saw the site and got the man who owned the site with the link arrested.The man was Andonis Tsiropoulos owner of blogme.gr.I wondered about this ridiculous case until yesterday i found out the truth.The man that got Andonis arrested was non other but the special guest of this site Mr. Dimosthenis Liakopoulos and the controversial blog was funELs.So apparently blogme.gr had a link to funELs site and since funEL is a .com site while blogme is a .gr site Liakopoulos unable to touch funEL got Andonis arrested. Personally i had always viewed Liakopoulos as a comedian of sorts but this incident showed that Liakopoulos not only can't take a bit of satire but will not accept anyone disputing him under the threat of imprisoment.FunEL has won while Liakopoulos showing his inability to cope with judgement has done the biggest mistake of his life.It has thrown down his fascade and shown everybody the fascist he is.HEIL UBERMENSCH LIAKO (cue nazi music). FunEL everyone is with you.Godspeed.See the controversial site at http://funel.blogspot.com/ .
By the way the claim that it was Liakopoulos i only believed it when i read this article in the english magazine The Register here is the article that confirmed funELs claims:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/10/30/greek_blogger_arrested/

Back

I would like to apologise for my long time away but a bad case of writers block with a case of having forgot my password resulted in my long time away.But after finding the code and composing the script for my new book, I'm back.
In my 3rd year of my Bachelor,thus the final year,I'm working on the project which is allocated in the final year.This project is bound to break my nerves by the end of it.Today after i thought i got the damn system working i notice that a stupid mistake had been done which has set me back by a whole flipping week (time period for the people to put two holes in the base). To make things worse Dawn of War: Dark Crusade is late a bloody week and thus i'm forced to have a life. But besides those two complicalities life is going well.Keep in touch (I have written down the password so i won't forget it).

Friday, June 23, 2006

The Endeavour- Chapter 1: Cirius-Training and desires.

After I had got properly dressed and ate breakfast I left the house without a goodbye to father and Marion (you expected me to talk to them after this mornings events?) and headed towards Maynard’s house. After a short trip on the bus (the bus is anti gravitational as most civilian vehicles in Astras) I reached Maynard’s house. I rang the doorbell and waited for somebody to answer the door. After a good five minute wait I heard somebody shuffle and the door finally opened. On the other side was Alizabeth wearing trousers and a half-cropped t-shirt, which made my heart stop and my mouth go dry. As I young and handsome man I dare say I’ve had my share of girlfriends and dated women who I may tell you come not even close to Alizabeth. She was the Emperor’s gift to men. She was perfectly formed with the curves many men dream of and she was only 16, just a year younger than me, and I dare say that I have only seen her in her full glory, except probably of Maynard. She is a shy girl so she usually hides her divine figure wearing clothes that don’t do her justice. It happened as I entered the bathroom while she drying herself off and caught her by surprise. She screamed, I blurted excuses, Maynard got angry but me and Alizabeth, after she got dressed, calmed him down and any injuries were avoided. With this knowledge I started doing the appropriate movements and soon me and her started dating. Yesterday was the first time we kissed after going out for nearly a year and believe me it was divine. But in spite us dating repeatedly she never wore clothes as she did now, which caught me by surprise. As I looked in awe she blushed and said in a timid voice “You like what I’m wearing? I wore it for you.” As I was about to answer I saw Maynard in the background wearing a robe with a sparring stick in one hand while with the other he was pointing at his eyes with his index and middle finger and then at me effectively saying “I’m watching you”. I jerked my head around to Alizabeth and quickly said “Very nice, very, very nice. Love to chat more but your dad is waiting for me” and before she could reply I dashed past her. As I walked towards Maynard he picked up a sparring stick and promptly threw it at me, which I easily picked out of the air. As I came near him he said to me “Good answer”. He led me to the courtyard at the back, which was the usual place we exercised out. He would teach me moves and I would learn them. I hope you didn’t expect full out sparring matches between us did you? Me, an ordinary person against an Astartes? Wouldn’t have a chance. As we entered the courtyard I asked him “What moves are we doing today?” and then suddenly I felt as if the air around me had gone denser. I looked around to see what is going on but when I looked up I saw Maynard smiling again and something told me today I would not be practicing any moves. I jumped back to create a good distance between Maynard and me, when suddenly Maynard came at me with his stick overhead. I jumped to the side as he slammed his stick down onto the ground. As I landed I had to duck as another hit came horizontally aiming for my head but had to block as Maynard changed his momentum and brought down. As our two sticks hit together I barely kept my balance as the force behind the stick shook me to the core. As I looked up at Maynard I saw him smile but he wasn’t wearing that nefarious smile but one of genuine happiness. He seemed happy about our fight whether it was that I was evading and blocking him or that he was simply in a fight. But then something happened that changed my life and me. Faster than a human eye can see Maynard somehow moved his sparring stick and slammed it under my chin, which promptly sent me flying. As I flew everything turned black and from the darkness four figures came forth.

I was standing in what seemed as infinite darkness with four human figures standing across me. One was dressed as a barbarian warrior with a battleaxe on his back, another was dressed in flowing robes and he seemed to support himself on a stick. The figure standing next to him also wore robes but his hood covered his face so I couldn’t look at it. The final figure was a beautiful woman dressed in the most scant clothing I have ever seen barely covering her private parts. As I looked at them they looked at me with expectation in their eyes. After a non-descript amount of time passed I asked them “Who are you people?” They answered me as one “We are you desires” The barbarian warrior shouted, “ I am your desire for blood, battle and to be the best fighter ever” The man with the stick wheezed “ I am your desire to keep moments stagnant for ever, never losing them and to keep things as they are now” The man with the covered face spoke with a thousand different voices “ I am your desire for change, to make things go faster and pass them as they never existed” The woman I an immensely seductive voice said to me “ I am your lust and desire for immense pleasure” I nodded at them while they said those words for I wasn’t unfamiliar with my desires and simply said to them “ So what? You are not telling me something new.” The figures looked at each other and whispered to each other “He doesn’t know” I looked at them with one of my eyebrows lifted and asked them “ Know what?” They turned their heads at me and as one said “ You are a powerful psycher untrained and uncorrupted by the false Emperor. Pick one of us and we will give you immense power and you will become a force that the world hasn’t seen since the days of the crusade of Horus against the false Emperor.” As they said that the darkness behind them turned red and as I could see in that redness thousands of daemons where swimming and screaming. I then realized that these weren’t simply my desires but the desires of humanity and of any other race gone bad. I started running away from them but as much as I tried to run I couldn’t seem to get any further. Then I heard them talk again “You can’t run from us. We are your desires”. Yet I still ran, trying to get away from them, when they suddenly appeared in front of me. I stopped suddenly which caused me to lose my balance and fall backwards. As I tried to scramble away they started to chant something in a incomprehensible language which cause me to freeze. They started to walk, or glide I wasn’t sure, towards me until they loomed over me when they broke the chant. Although I knew I could move now I didn’t for I was paralyzed in fear so I sat there looking at them. “Why you try to avoid us?” they all said in one voice “We only want your happiness. Why deny yourself eternal happiness? Join us and you will be happy for ever. We will even resurrect your mother for you” As they said that they moved apart and behind them stood my mother. She stood with her arms stretched as if pleading me to help her “Cirius” she said in the most heartbreaking voice possible, “help me. Its cold here and lonely. Help me” Then the desires moved again blocking my view of her. “You need only choose one of us or all of us and we will resurrect your mother” Tearful, I was about to say yes when a voice I knew , shouted my name. The voice caused the darkness to tremble and the figures looked at each other and them me. “We will meet again. There is no escaping your desires.” and the darkness consumed them. I slowly and with great strain opened my eyes, my real eyes, to see Alizabeth standing over me shouting my name repeatedly like a bad recorder. As I fully opened my eyes she gave a great sigh of relief and looked up to her adopted father who was sweating and biting the nails of his right hand. “Don’t you ever do that again or I will never speak to you again” and she looked down at me again. Maynard replied by creating a stream of excuses which included “It slipped”, “Don’t know my own strength” and the all time classic “It was only a tap.” At this I couldn’t help but laugh. A Space Marine, an unstoppable warrior of immense skill and strength, blurting out excuses to his daughter like some 10 year old who stole candy from a shop. I guess give anyone a lovable 16 year old daughter, even a tyranid, and you can make house men out of them.

Friday, June 16, 2006

History of modern music (satirical post)

WARNING:TOO MUCH PURE INFORMATION MAY MELT NON GREEK BRAINS AND CAUSE YOUR HEAD TO EXPLODE.READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. :P





Greeks have always influenced the world of music.Prime example is the Rolling stones who's songs , with irrevocable documents and truths, are in the same wavelenght and frequency as the byzantine church hymns.Originally it was considered a simple coincidence but soon the truth came out. Mick Jagers real father was George Giolvas.As can be seen in this picture when the stones decided to take their first group picture Mick had invited his real father along to the shooting for he was in reality the first rolling stone, as they owned the bands existence to him.Matter of factly in the beginning the stones were not called Rolling stones but Bevatron but a cospiracy by anti-el organisations the band's name was changed.


Another prime example of greeks shaping music is Sgt Peppers lonely hearts club band.As can be seen in the original photo of the cover instead of the modified one that people are accustomed to four legendary figures can be seen clearly.Off course i'm not talking about the Beatles but for the heads of Putin, Liakopoulos,Sakketos-paketos and Sinefakis.As this amazing revelation suprised me i searched to find the reason for the existence of these four figures.After deduction and finding amazing documents i found that the beatles were 4 of the 120 million greeks in the world.This revelation explained a lot of things about the group.Explained the amazing quality of the music.Its not possible for non-greek people to produce so many amazing songs.Explained the assasination of John Lenon which was organised by the draconian/sionist goverment in the white pyramid of Saxlamaran.Explained the usage of tesla technology and antigravity machinery during the Yellow Submarine movie and even the existence of the yellow submarine which was of greek origin, as it clearly had greek writing on its walls which were later erased on the final copy of the movie from the anti greek movements.

As many would know their is a greek group in Greece made of monks called Eleutheroi(the free ones).They experienced fame with their album S.O.S. and their single To tsipaki (the computer chip).Despite basking in the glory of God (as they are greek-orthodox monks,all other monks worship some other lower god) in reality they are not the real group.God in his plan decided the group to actually compromise of the following 3 people: The gerontas(the old man), who's advice would later shape the future of another glorious singer, inventor sinefakis, who invented an amazing guitar solo, and president Putin, who as everyone knows is a strict orthodox and answeres to the call of god wherever that may be. The actual singing was by the gerontas which would explain why during the first play of their single on radio approximately 110 million greeks (give or take a million) had visions of immense glory and total greek domination in the year 2024.This vision lead to the creation of the greatest ever singer in history.

Upon listening to the tsipaki of the group Oi Eleutheroi a young man with the name of Dimosthenis Liakopoulos heard his call and decided to leave his lucrative job at NATO and start selling books on telly while selling tales of greek superiority and singing the occasional mega hit.With this picture from Liakopoulos's private gallery we see his first group who actually made it to the eurovision in 2002.

As they played their immense hit M.A.L.A.K.A.S. the people in the hall all had a prophetic vision at the same time which caused the biggest mass suicide in history as everyone bludgeoned themselves to death with their chairs.What the vision contained we may never know.To cover up the the mass suicide the Esthonian goverment fabricated a false eurovision replacing Liakopoulo's group with one of Rakintzis and used computer animation to replace the other dead singers. But this minor incident did not dampen Liakopoulo's spirit but actually strengthened it as he made it once more to the finals in 2004.

As the competition was in Turkey Liakouras, as his friends call him, decided to sing his uber-massive hit the song DINATA KAI ELLINIKA (GREEK AND POWERFUL). As he sang the chorus and simutanouesly opened his shirt as seen in the above photo the bigest catastrophe happend in human history.A humoungous earthquake ripped through Turkey demolishing everything followed by a immense meteor strike which obliterated Turkey of the map. As this was joyful news to all the greeks in the world the sacrifice was too immense.Liakouras had died.As celebration died down top greek enginners,independent of Greece's inadequate goverment, made a time machine and switched Liakouras with a man called Sakis Rouvas and the timeline stands as it is now.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Endeavour- Chapter 1: Cirius-A fright and a joke.

Have you ever happened to have a day where you would be dreaming the most incredible dream but as you reach, possibly the best part of the dream, somebody awakes you and you feel quite angry with that? Well today was one of those days. I happened to be dreaming an amazing dream about Alizabeth and me when some smartass had the brilliant idea of throwing a bucket of water over me. As a result I woke up with a start and obviously got soaked. As I quickly sat up I turned to look at the perpetrator with a look on my face of sullen anger when I came face to face with a big leather apron at waist length. At that moment I knew who was that did the crime and promptly changed my expression so to face the man. With a broad smiled I looked at the face of Maynard Timarin ex-member of the Adeptus Astartes, or as they are known among common folk Space Marines, Salamanders Chapter.

Before I talk about the events that changed my life I better introduce myself. My name is Cirius Illiandri, son of Nestros Illiandri and Marissa Siman. At 17 I am learning the art of engineering from my father and Salas although to tell you the truth I’d rather be sleeping, or hanging out with my friends. Among the people of my age group I’m considered as one of the most handsome young men in Astras and a sort of a heartthrob among the women’s population. If I said I didn’t like the attention I would be lying and lying is not something I’m good at. The young woman in my dream is Alizabeth Timarin, adopted daughter of Maynard. Now I assume you have questions like what the hell is a Astarted doing here or is Alizabeth fit or super-fit. Well although I’d love to answer you these questions I don’t know the answer (yet) to the first and for the second question, you will see my friends, you will see.

Any case as I looked at Maynard’s face I saw the most frightening sight in my life. Maynard was wearing the broadest smile I had ever seen him wear in my life and when Maynard was smiling at someone it meant something bad is going to happen to him. I quickly jumped out of my bed onto the floor as Maynard’s fist came crashing down onto my bed. By the way I forgot to mention that Maynard is also my fighting instructor, which seems as overkill considering that he is an Astartes and I a plain human but what dad wants, dad gets. I started to run towards the door of my room when a hand grabbed my arm and started to pull me back towards him. As I my torso was robbed of momentum but my feet weren’t, I slipped and fell to the floor, which proved to be a blessing as Maynard’s fist flew just above me, exactly where my head was. As I crashed onto the floor I managed to blurt out “ Teacher, have you gone mad?”. Maynard looked at me with that haunting smile still on his face as he said “You shouldn’t have kissed Alizabeth yesterday.” He quickly grabbed a pillow and slammed it on my stomach. You would normally consider getting hit by a pillow something playful and definitely painless but when the guy that hits you with it is an Astartes, I’m telling you there is nothing playful about that and it’s definitely not painless. As I doubled over from the pain Maynard stopped his assault and simply crouched besides me, his immense size dwarfing me, and he whispered to my ear “Cirius I’m sorry for this. You know that I like you and that if this was an Imperial world you would have been likely to be an Astartes by now but knowing your past with women, if you ever break Alizabeth’s heart I will hunt you down like a dog and kill you, with the Emperor as my witness.” I nodded at his words and he simply got up and left my room. I slowly got up on my feet and looked down at my stomach. On it was a pretty bad bruise that was slowly turning yellow. I opened the door to the hallway and walked slowly towards the bathroom when I heard laughter from the living room. I slowly crept towards the doorway so to eavesdrop easier.

“By the Emperor you should have seen the expression on Cirius’s face when he saw me smiling. He turned white as a ghost and the expression on his face was priceless.” Maynard said as two other people laughed. I recognized the laughs of the other two people and jumped out of my cover to face them. “Morning son, how are you feeling today” my father asked me as nothing had happened when all three of them suddenly burst out laughing. “You bastard !” I shouted to my father “you knew about this and you didn’t do anything?” My father smiled at me “Actually the incident was my idea. Maynard came to me this morning worried after Alizabeth came to him yesterday saying that she is in love. This worried him as he had no idea how to react. Marion” which was the third person, bowed before me “saw you yesterday kissing her in town so I knew who she was in love with. I told this to Maynard and he seemed content that she was in love with you.” Maynard came up to me, his towering figure shadowing me “I could not ask for a better boyfriend for my daughter.” which at that point he kneeled to come to head height with me and whispered in my ear “but don’t think that my threats earlier are idle.” He got up and opened the door to the street “See you later Nestros, Marion. Cirius I’m expecting you in an hour for training.” He doubled himself over and squeezed his way out of our door while he was whispering to himself “Damn these stupid doors.” closing the door after him. I looked at my father and Marion with a weary eye and asked them “Why did you do this to me?” Marion looked down on the floor and replied “We thought it would be a good joke.” which at that Marion and father burst out laughing.

Monday, June 12, 2006

THIS IS NOT AN IMAGE OF ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THE BOOK but it is a special Space Marine of Adeptus Liakourites which has the dual purpose of blessing the site and keeping any sort of vril from tampering with the site.With the blessed bolter it blows away any non greekorthodox influences and content that might compromise the sanctity of the site.Hell the Emperor himself might have been Liakouras himself for both know all, see all and entire worlds bow before them.If i hurt anyone with the words....hard luck.Thxs to funEL for the symbols and G.W. for the Marine picture.+Eulogison+